Mees Fowseit - 03/10/07

The head teacher at Ecole Pointe Lynche is called Monsieur Garçon. It’s very apt actually since, despite being fairly old, he’s really very boyish. He’s wiry and athletic with sprinkles of grey in his hair and he welcomed me with a big smile and an energetic handshake, taking great pride in telling me all about his school and the pupils.

I have six classes at Pointe Lynch. It’s an école élémentaire, for kids aged 6-11 years, and it has more than 300 pupils. (Seems a bit on the large side to me - maybe I’ve spent too much time in villages.) I’m going to be teaching levels CM1 and CM2 which I think are roughly Year 5 and Year 6 in UK terms although the system here is something I still haven’t quite managed to get my head around. Too many letters everywhere. CED, CM1, CE2...? What's all that about?

M. Garçon seemed very pleased that I was there. He told me as he sprinted up the spiral staircase, me sweaty and breathlessly trying to keep up, that the children were really missing last year’s assistante d’anglais, from Trinidad and Tobago. I said I’d try to do as good a job as she did. despite being slightly distracted by the thought that I might not be able to manage those stairs more than once a day without expiring from heat exhaustion.

Mr Boy left me with another teacher, with a less memorable name, who spoke to me very hesitantly in English, saying he had spent some time in Exeter of all places, and that he was quite embarrassed by the state of his English. We switched back to French while he helped me work out a timetable and introduce me to my classes, and the next fifteen minutes or so were spent popping into classrooms so that I could stand up at the front and give an impromptu speech about myself in French to the class. I hope the intrigued faces that stared back at me wore expressions of curiosity rather than incomprehension. I suppose I’ll find out soon enough. They seemed to have some difficulty pronouncing my name. Mees Fowseit was the closest anyone got. Oh well. That’ll do I suppose.

I expected to spend the whole morning there being bored observing classes, so I was pleasantly surprised to discover that all I was expected to do that day was say hi to the kids. So I finished work before 9.00 am, something which hasn’t happened since my TV days. And any unexpected time off deserves a celebration in my opinion, so I headed straight to the beach.

The incessant heckling from the local men continued yesterday and today. One man, who looked to be about 70, stopped me on Dead Cat Alley to tell me he was looking for a new wife since he recently got divorced and that he’d really like a white woman this time. I had recently decided to take the precaution of putting a ring on my wedding finger - and luckily I had it on that day – so I flashed it in his direction and said, “Je suis mariée”. That shut him up pretty quickly. Quelle bonne idée! I'll use that again methinks.

Making my Yorkshire tea this morning in the kitchen I stepped on something hard which made a loud crack and made me jump. I thought it was a piece of glass but when I looked down I got a bit of a shock. It was in fact the most enormous cockroach I have ever seen. Normally I’m not really bothered about crawly things, but this beast was HUGE! And despite the sickening noise it made when I stood on it, it wasn’t even dead – it was just lying on its back madly flailing its legs about. I just couldn’t bring myself to touch it, or do anything useful except sweep it outside. Ugh... and I didn’t think I was the squeamish type.

Taekwondo last night was a killer. I’ve done training sessions at home which were a hundred times harder – but never in heat like this. I went a beautiful shade of puce which was very embarrassing and I drank almost three litres of water during the hour and a half. But I survived. And in fact this evening I taught a class of adult beginners which was quite good. I was a bit apprehensive since I hadn't had much cause to learn martial arts vocabulary before I arrived, but with a lot of miming, demonstrating and saying, “Vous faites errr...comme ça” I seemed to just about get my point across. And I now know how to say punch, kick, block, bow, stretch, lengthen, elbow, hips and all manner of very useful vocab like that!